I overheard a conversation. It went something like this (converted to first person for your reading pleasure, and a few other details have been changed to protect the guilty):
“I need something done to somebody”, I said.
“I’m somebody.”
“Are you the somebody who can do something to somebody else?”
“Yes. That is something I can do.”
“Somebody insulted me”, I said.
“It wasn’t me.”
“I know that.”
“But I am somebody, and I’m telling you I didn’t do it.”
“OK. Fair enough. Somebody other than you insulted me in public. I want justice. Can you take care of them?” Now we were getting down to business.
“’Take care of’, as in ‘love and nurture’?”
“NO! If that is the meaning of ‘take care of’ then I want you to take care of me. Take care of me by punishing the person who caused me pain by insulting me.”
“I can do that. How would you like it done?”
“I don’t care. Do I have to make every decision? I don’t have time to do your job and mine. Just take care of her, er, I mean, me.”
“It just that some clients like to pick their poison.”
“That’s fine then, poison it is.”
“Do you want to watch?”
“NO! This is not for entertainment, it is for justice. I can’t be associated with this deed. I can’t be anywhere around when it happens.”
“It might be hard. If I don’t succeed, I want you to know, I’ll give you your money back.”
I love working with an honest assassin. “Do we have an agreement?”
“Almost”, he said. “Who is the somebody? What color are they wearing?”
“How do I know one of us isn’t color blind? I’m not going to be as vague with something this important as to describe them by what they are wearing. It is that person over there.” I denoted the direction with a flick of my eyes.
“That one?” Was the question he returned with an eye flick of his own.
“I can’t tell who you’re looking at!”
“That one”, the Assassin turned and stared directly at the one who had caused me harm.
“Stop looking at her!” I said sternly as I slapped his arm. “Yes. That’s the one.”
“I thought so. I heard what she said. She really threw you under the horse-drawn, multi-passenger carriage.”
“Please take care of her.”
“As in love and nurture?”
“No, as in… OK then, please take care of me.” I was starting to get a little frustrated.
“Will do.”
I reached into my coin purse and gave him a handful of gems. “This conversation never happened.”
“What conversation”, he responded.
“The one we are having right n… oh, yes. What conversation?” This guy is indeed a professional I was starting to realize. I turned to walk away. Over my shoulder I said, “Take care.”
Before I moved out of earshot, I heard him reply, “As in love and nurture?”
Later I got the wink that assured me the person who cause me harm had paid with their life. I love justice.